So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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