We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize