I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
