I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
