Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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