It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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