Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
thus making me awesome and them whores
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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