if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
