you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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