I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Randomize