I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
last night I used snow as a chaser
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