A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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