I could make wine with my vomit
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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