Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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