her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
