walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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