i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
