Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're so committed to being not committed
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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