"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
