ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Your mouth is God's brothel.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
