i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
