Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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