I wish I could teleport
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
