hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
