I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
