I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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