a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
