be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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