We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
