They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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