I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
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