508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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