My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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