i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
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So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
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I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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