Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
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