Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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