i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
