we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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