dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I am puke
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Such a big mess for such a small penis
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
