nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i love accidental penises.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
