They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My vagina is very pro this idea
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
