I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
