He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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