and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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