oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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