david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
