I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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