Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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