just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
