He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
