i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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