I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
