If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
We're like a lot better than the average bears
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
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