what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
