Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
