I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
