I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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