Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
